Slow Shifts

It's the daily tasks that make me feel normal, human, real, and not like a work zombie.

Last night I cooked myself spaghetti squash with pesto after a long day of clicking on stories 9-5, hitting the grocery store and exercising for the first time in more than a week. Everything was refreshing, and those things brought a sense of inner calm.

The grocery store was buzzing with activity, though that's no surprise for a veteran cashier. I've noticed the Kroger way out by work tends to have loads of married-looking men and dads running around the store, like someone put a bomb on their cart, and talking excessively on the cell phone. I've never noticed so many people on cell phones. Could they really have forgotten that many things? Did they even think to make a list? Can they wait 15 minutes to talk to their s.o.s, or are they talking to their mistresses while picking up lunchmeat for the rugrats at home?

...I should just go back to the Fellini Kroger. Hah.

My last "six months" in Knoxville have been whittled down to President Bush's remaining 8 weeks in office, plus some spare time in Chattanooga. It's hard to believe I started this mission with my vacation and move with Amy and Tommy back in August -- and god knows I had been planning that trip since May. 2008 has proved to be a transition year, which is good, albeit painful at times and awkward at best. I graduated nearly a year ago, and I've held multiple part-time jobs. I finally felt at home here; my college friends have scattered or moved, and I've come to know a different group of ladies who are like family.

my love belongs to you

Calmly, quietly, I plug in at my workstation at the 9-5.

Except it's Saturday.

It took me some courage and lots of lover conversation to get here this morning. Some days it's harder to get motivated. The cloudy sky on my drive out though and the rain and mist we've had for the past few days is what I imagine Portland to be like. Minus the sun poking through the clouds, of course, but ... still. Rain and clouds, I can handle. Or at least I'm gearing myself up for it.

My thoughts are expanding, though. More "YES" than no, more happy than sad, more love than anguish, more now, more here, more you, more love...

I am in love. And happy. And goddamnit, I'm gonna have to work just a LITTLE bit harder, push myself just TEN more weeks...

and I get to uproot and embark on a beautiful adventure.

It gives me chills just writing about it.

I'm going to spread my wings.

leafy

After the rain, beautiful yellow leaves carpet my front yard, almost making it difficult to see the sidewalk.

My brain is weary. I've had to expel thought of work and how much I'll be there from my head; it hurts. Both from reading on the computer and the two beers I had following the most delicious sushi dinner.

My heart is ready, though, for a move. I'm preparing, every day. The big-picture thinking is exhausting, but it's happening. I'm moving to Portland January 27. I'm saving money, getting rid of furniture, packing my belongings into three bags and boxing things up to ship to myself.

MMm...overwhelming. Delicious. Exciting. Loving. SNUGGLES, a new favorite word.

new adventures

LJ moves to Portland January 27.

Get Ready!

Cold, clean, crisp

Another week blows away in the fall wind...

The time change is finally settling in, though I still wake up earlier than normal. This morning I was startled into thinking I failed to turn on my alarm and was late for work. I won't even go into the contents of this week. They are done, complete, passed. Well, I DID see the Avett Bros. last night, and it was comforting. Lonely, but comforting. Then Amy and I ate like queens at Le Parigo, which was an appropriate celebration cause...

My temp contact was extended till MARCH! Wooohooo! It came in lieu of 50 layoffs at the paper this week, 13 from the newsroom. It could mean more work for me there, it could mean less work for me there - it most definitely means a decline in the quality of our newspaper and even lowered morale and more employees worry about job security. This is not a good time for print news. Or (sensational!! ha) broadcast news either.

Now I'm faced with some employment decisions: keep working both jobs and bank out big at the end of January. Work one or the other, one which is mindless but happy, the other is negative but pays more. These are not really OPTIONS yet, as I am uncertain of my future at the paper, but... just something to start considering. Hmph.

With a smile on my face, enough money and food to live comfortably, new boots on my feet...I'm happy. And in love. And my future remains so, so bright.

Bragging rights

Another conversation wraps around my fingers. Sniffles escape my pink nose, lips tingly from peppermint lip balm and curved up in a sleep, satisfied smile.

I'm refreshed and ready for another week of HG monotony. It's tolerable and the end is in sight: five weeks, I believe. No, six. 240 hours doing mindless website work. I'm ready...for Oregon. It's been on the brain all day, uprooting and running around in a heavenly city, in a green state filled with mossy trees, cold water and big mountains.

It's time to start doctoring up my resume, dive into the Writer's Market to discover what media options I'll have out there and what the media market is like. Time to start finding a more permanent home for my bed, some of my clothes, what and when I'm moving, and where I'm putting the rest of it. The financing part seems to be working alright, and friends have more confidence than I in my job prospects in the city. CITY. Bigger than Knoxville, awesome transportation. I can shed the SUVy, though the Exploder has been good to me, I'll be happy in a monogamous relationships with Ellie. Gas may be cheap, but nothin's cheaper than a $10 bottle of lube and a little time and attention and a pump. Oooh, something else I need to bring or keep with Wendy...

Now I'm just letting thoughts flow in preperation of late January, that chilly time I chose to fling me and a few bags' worth of stuff nearly 2,500 miles away.

Melanie, Shane, Amy and I are going to see the Avett Brothers on Friday! It's the second highlight of my week, after the election of course. God it's going to be a deliciously exciting Tuesday. Filled with $2 pints, I'm sure, and a forseeable bright future.

Broke and happy. In love and smiling, well-rested and healthy, a hiker and a biker, and a goddamned hard worker.