The moon and I, we hit it off this week.
I'm finishing my second week at the new position, and it's rolling along smoothly. It can be numbing, granted, but I can go numb and make money for two months. I've been harping on this for some time now. It's happening. I'm here.
I have accompaniment to Oregon at the end of January, so I may put off that plane ticket I purchased so long ago. The decision tickles, a lot, and I think I'll be making the cross-country trek again. Maybe the southern route though, cause the little Camry don't like that snowy mountain shtuff too much. Departure time is so close! It can feel very, very far away sitting under these awful fluorescents, in my brown-cloth box, in front of my too-bright screen, wrists hurting from this goddamned keyboard....
So I could have slept a little more last night, but that's the general theme of work for me, always. It seems to be the theme for fall; the autumn and spring are much more tumultuous for me. Summer and winter are smooth sailing for me. The adjustment, the transition of the former two seasons though almost seem to catch me off guard. Last year I had an emotional explosion in the Denver airport at 5 a.m. after no sleep. I have a harder time staying in balance in these seasons.
But god does it feel amazing outside today! It rained this morning and last night. I wanted to lay in bed all morning, listening to the gentle drops and stay nuzzled in my cozy bed-nest.
Music keeps my ears and brain entertained; Blue Plate today is AMAZING, and my heart hurts cause I can't be down at WDVX. And please, please check out Theresa Andersson. Ahhhhmmmm.
Fall is here, no matter how tumultous. Let's hold hands.
My full-moon evening ended in tears, on the Square.
I've got to get out of here.
I have to change something.
Daft Punk in the morning makes for streamline productivity.
Read text.
Edit.
Reallign, redesign.
REPEAT.
This is my job. It involves lots of keystrokes, finding shortcuts and mouse clicks. It's hard to do in the afternoon sometimes, with distractions abound and sleepiness at bay. The mornings, however, are almost seamless. I notice the time less with the electronic beats.
beat beat beat beat...
My body aches a little bit from hiking up House Mountain yesterday afternoon to see the sunset. I was dog tired by the time I got home, and Janna and I shared a consolation beer at Barley's. Just gotta remind her of the options out there.
Time slooows down on my CPU when I put on Avett Bros., for example. Which is who Mel and I are going to see in November. Can't fuckin wait. Hopefully we'll be celebrating our fantastic new president OBAMA that week. Mmmmmm. He's so fine.
You just get used to it, ya know?
My head is bleary on this sunny, clear Sunday afternoon. I still can't believe I'm awake, my belly full of the most delicious brunch in the world. Ashley came to remind me of adventure. Travel. Harmonious love.
And dance. MMmmmmmmm...
I glanced at my calendar for this week, and it scared me a little bit. I know the next week will soar by. I need to slow down, sleep more. Man, he's in the library all the time. Don't look around like there's a maniac on the loose. He just has Turrets. And you gotta stare?
I'm in love with clouds and sunshine. Blue skies and endless blessings. Friendly reminders, wild encounters.
An affair with cliches.
The choice of music is sappy, a little sad and asks for reflection. It's funny how I think about the week ahead of me: I can even envision my experience of this music during the week. It's healthy, and it is a pressure on my heart...that I've been waiting for. Makes me wanna buy some music or something.
Listening to sleepy folk and jazz tunes in the morning can't be the best thing to keep me attentive, but it somehow makes zoning out to Web site work much simpler. Smooth, even.
Yes, my first 9-to-5 workweek is nearing its end. I survived, thank goodness, although I can't work a double, both at this place and the paper. Just can't catch up on sleep after a late night there.
I like leaving everything work-related at the office when I leave. It's a nice free feeling. I'm working out the carpool stuff, too, which will remove the most unattractive aspect of this job: a 30-minute commute during peak rush hours. I hate driving. Especially on the interstate, especially for during that time period. I'm adjusting though.
Hell, I just like having a focus. I also like the temp aspects, knowing that my slow mornings cooking eggs and riding around downtown and milling about at the coffee shop will return soon enough. And with welcoming arms.
Mmmm.. Thank goodness for Internet radio. Some dude has a bitchin iTunes list here, but that's too distracting. I gotta keep coooool...
Hello, weekend.
Mentally, physically and spiritually, I feel strong.
No more weariness, no more worriying about here and there folks. With the fall harvest comes a personal harvest. I am harvesting the most independent, strong, forthcoming vibrations, as some of my encounters have helped me realize...that NO ONE ELSE can quench. This "sobbing smile" mix is only empowering. The things that make me sad only make me stronger, more PURE LAURA JANE. Cause in the end baby, that's all it is!
It's beautiful, it can be painful, but goddamnit, this is what BEING ALIVE fully means.
****
The energy is positively buzzing, humming and radiating everywhere today. And it's incredible. I longed to stay in my cozy cocoon this morning, but duties called and got me on my bike. A few hours and cups of coffee later I'm still filling up on this fall vibrance. There is change at my fingertips, there is beauty in every raspy breath. There is something so literally infectious and fresh happening today, bubbling under the skin of a crisp Thursday.
A tiny apple sits on my desk and not even a whole bite remains.
A new black pen balances on the wire binding of my planner. My journal is jealously waiting at home for the new fine-tipped wonder I picked up at the store today. Instead, more pounding on keys, more escaping work duties, more gazing out the giant windows behind me as the sun starts to set.
It's the first really cool day we've had all fall. Only a few days of fall, granted, and I nearly used "in October," but alas, it's the first of the month. When else would it be cold?
The kind folks at the Apple store helped me with Little Lady Laptop this morning. Apparently their services are a bit slow due to hurricane leftovers at their place down in Texas. Thus, I'm going to bring Triple L back early next week for her tune up. New keyboard casing, where mine has cracked, and a new disc drive, where mine has failed miserably. It was a pleasant way to start my morning, albeit in the mall, and Barnie's gifted me a cup of delicious coffee. Without the regular scoop around, my coffee-making skill are in shambles. The shit I made Monday was so clear I should have dumped the whole pot.
I conveniently got a call from my freelance folks, so there's another check to soften up my savings. Harden...? Errr... Then this afternoon after passing on a FreeWill (!!!) horoscope, I realized some things, some far away places and people, will remain far away. And I will remain here, right now, and nowhere else. This is a very simple realization, or reminder, rather, but a necessary one. I don't have no boyfriend, and dagnabit I don't need or want one.
And then back to being vague.
My bicycle commute was one of the windiest and aerobic that I've taken in awhile. My thighs felt waterlogged walking upstairs at work, and I could stand to stretch for another 30 minutes when I finally leave this fluorescent box.
As the sun starts to set from what I once deemed Sentinel Skies, hinting at the beautiful view from corporate parking lots, I'm realizing this place can be a safe haven. A slowly dying safe haven, of course, which is wherein most of my troubles with the business lie. But it does not reek of bottom-line, consumer-driven profits like the position I'm starting next week. My front-end opinion (god that just sounds/is awful!) is that my company's former cousin's work is a little more mindless than my educated news bubble.
Sigh.
An aside:
Dear Hanes: I gotta tell ya, your "cotton" labeling on the cute black briefs I purchased today is a lot of fluff. So maybe I'm in the wrong for not checking the content. But 90 percent cotton just ain't gonna cut it! Bah!
