I am preparing myself for something wildly uncomfortable, hugely unusual and totally new. I haven't seen it yet, and I'm not even sure what it's related to, but I'm starting to feel it in my heart. There's a calm there that I have been building on, working toward, since the moment of my birth.
(Another train whistle, more clinking tracks. Open doors on empty cars, graffiti-laden sides. I wonder where they've been.)
This something, this feeling is autonomous, and generated WITHIN. It doesn't have a voice, yet, or I don't know how to hear the voice. It will help other people give love and be in more touch with their hearts.
My heart feels open, peaceful, ready, receptive. Financial worries do not matter. Continued nourishment of my bosy, healthy connections with individuals, literary enlightenment...is a big priority. Write daily. Bless those around me, for I am so blessed to have them in my life. Don't be so preoccupied with the little argument and disagreements, like those I have with my sister. We lose sight of the bigger picture, or higher thinking, OUR GREATER GOOD, when we do that. The image of Ashley with a furrowed brow in my dream, as she spoke with the gypsy and watched W and I bicker, is symbollic of my day to day life. I couldn't read more of the heart meditation book without first feeling my own heart. It's rhythm is the single most beautiful force about me. My heart is my life force, pumping life blood, giving birth to my breath, and in turn, my thoughts and feelings and opinions of everything around me.
My heart is why I like the changing seasons, the river, sunny afternoons.
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