Outta here

That's it. I'm done.

My roommate and I just had a fist fight over, essentially, a utilities bill. Of course the argument ran much deeper than that. From my perspective, she's really jealous that I work so little. And damn near all of the time I can pay my bills on time. This month, due to unforseen circumstances (i.e. not getting paid as I should have), I couldn't pay KUB on time. She offered to do so to help me out. This agreement went south, as her "favors" typically do, and ended, of course, in a brawl.

Though I am MUCH stronger than I used to be... when I went back in her room to tackle her, I ended up being choked and pinned to the ground. I eventually got her off my back, but I think I'll have bruises from that one. She'll have some bite marks, too.

I can't live like this. Her tension and pressure to get a second job seeps into my dreams. I actually had a dream the other night that she was beating me up, pestering me on end as my sage-like friends looked down on us, as if she and I were unable to see beyond our problems. This is very, very true. I can't tolerate hearing her sisterly gripes though and share adult responsibilites when she doesn't abide by her own "fair share" policy. It's just not working. I don't know how to get out of it, either. Our lease isn't up until February. There is no way I can afford to move out now. She threatens "Suing Me In Chancery Court" for the remaining lease money. Yeah.

There is nothing holding me in Knoxville. Except this goddamned lease. I've considered talking to my Dad about taking out a loan so I can get out of here. Rent is not really a desirable thing to owe money on though. Once again financial worries have my conscious mind and body distressed. My boss has still not properly compensated me for the hours I worked in August. This only adds stress.

THERE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN MONEY, UTILITIES, RENT.